I recall a time when my Husband Keith couldn’t do anything “right.” The reality of that statement is that my mind was not “right” and I was more interested in my “fight to be right” than being the wife God intended, but I didn’t know how. I also didn’t know that we needed marriage restoration.
For hurting couples, marriage restoration is 100% achievable when we are aware of God’s plan for successful marriage. When I fell in love with Keith, I fell as hard and fast as humanly possible. One of those love stories where the two people meet, and they are together from that point forward going on 25 years. The falling in love phase sustained us for many years. However, like every couple, there comes a time when the marriage struggles and the two participants wonder if they will make it beyond the challenges. The problems create the distance, and if not corrected, the distance causes detachment and detachment can lead to divorce.
If I remained focused on what wasn’t “right” with him, I would have never experienced marriage restoration for our relationship and be living the successful marriage that God intended. Nor would I have experienced the everlasting transformation for myself.
So what prompted me to shift my focus away from what was wrong with Keith to achieve marriage restoration? God brought awareness to my toxic thinking. I recall a moment when I was upset with Keith, and I had no justification for it. However, my fight to be right and feelings of insecurity overpowered my ability to be rational. I left the room and walked over to a park bench in our yard and sat there in complete confusion. In frustration, I said out loud, “what is WRONG with me?” As vivid as any thought in my life, I felt an impression from God telling me, “you don’t trust me.” I was stunned in my seat. I felt paralyzed, as the tears rushed down my face. Not trusting God was transferred and lived out through my relationship with Keith and others. Exposing the stronghold, my belief of lacking trust, was the revelation and the catalyst for the transformation of my mind, body, and spirit. Sitting on the bench, I knew that I needed to seek help.
Marriage Restoration Formula that Works!
There are many options, but this is what worked for us.
- Make a choice to improve YOUR role in the marriage, period. Focusing on what the spouse is doing wrong will not produce positive results. We choose to be accountable for your part. I hear this statement often, “It takes two to make a marriage work.” Of course, it’s true for the long run, but it’s a false belief that can become an excuse for taking proactive action when a marriage is hurting. It takes ONE to lead and learn to apply the Biblical Truth about their role in the relationship. Typically, the other one responds positively and starts following along, and now two are making it work.
- Learn the biblical principles about God’s plan for marriage. Find related marriage scriptures and bible study plans. We were changed by the transformational Biblical teachings of Marriage Today Ministry. I saw Pastor’s Jimmy and Karen Evans on Christian TV, and I liked what they shared. I downloaded the free podcast on my mobile phone and started streaming it on my commute to work. I learned the Biblical Truth about God’s plan for marriage. “Two Servants in Love” is the sermon that I recommend first to anyone who wants to get started. There are many good teachings so go with the one that you like!
- Apply the lessons. As I began to unravel my toxic thinking about my role as a wife, I used the suggestions that Pastor Jimmy shared and we saw immediate improvement. I shared what I was learning with Keith, and he jumped on board with listening to the TV broadcast on Sunday’s before church and beyond.
- Seek marriage counseling. We offer private Strengths-based marriage sessions for couples who want to know and leverage the strengths that God gave each other. A powerful tool that combines Marriage Today teachings with the power of Strengthsfinder 2.0 to enrich marriage at any stage. We also visited with a licensed marriage counselor, and it was helpful. Marriage counseling has worked for many successful marriages.
- Get breakthrough healing. I needed someone who was anointed in the area of break through healing to help tear down the stronghold of lacking trust in God. I worked with Brenda Underwood, owner of Breakthrough for Life Coaching. In seven sessions, we were able to heal past wounds to release a joy in my life I had never experienced. Over a period, I surrendered complete trust in the Lord that improved every area of life. For information visit: Breakthrough Life Coaching
There you go, a very prescriptive Marriage Restoration formula that works! If your marriage is hurting, happy or just getting started, you can achieve God’s plan for successful marriage if you know what that is. Learn, apply, and live in marriage bliss!